Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Grandma In Court
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’
She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’
She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.’
The defense attorney nearly died.
The Judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, ‘If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.’
Donald Duck as R. Lee Ermey as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Aphex Twin makes use of realtime face mapping technology
(Caution: You might want to turn down the volume a smidge before pressing play.)
Hilton goes back to jail
The US socialite was busted in Las Vegas on Saturday after cops spotted what they thought was marijuana smoke from boyfriend Cy Waits’ car.
Officers claim Hilton, 29, dropped a small packet of cocaine as she pulled her lip gloss from her purse.
Nightclub mogul Waits, 34, was also arrested and charged with driving under the influence.
An hour after her release on bail, new messages began appearing on Hilton’s Twitter account. The first said: “In bed watching Family Guy. Love this show! So hilarious! Stewie is my favorite 
Hilton’s lawyer David Chesnoff said: “I encourage people not to rush to judgement until all of the facts have been dealt with in a court of law.”
World’s deepest pool, complete with underwater cave (18 Photos)
This is Nemo, one helluva' diving pool in Brussels, Belgium. The pool has multiple flat-bottom levels. The first is at 16 feet, the next at 32 feet. The bottom of the pool funnels into a large circular pit that bottoms out around 110 feet. If your sport, you can take a detour into the diving caves. Perhaps the best part is the water is kept at a sublime 86 degrees at all times.
Whyyyyyyyyy???
