Tuesday, February 22, 2011
So That’s What That Would Look Like
Uncle Gerald’s family sends him off with a 320,000 firecracker salute per his final wishes.
Anonymous Takes On The Westboro Baptist Church
The group of hackers for a cause called Anonymous have already made Tommy Girl's Scientolohole frown when they took on The Church of LRo a few years ago, and now they're sharpening their keystrokes and going after The Westboro Baptist Church. You know those crazy bitches headed by Fred Phelps and his daughter Shirley Phelps. They're the ones who go around screaming that God hates everything from "fags" to "Jews" to "Lady Gaga" to "America." Judging by Shirley's dire eyebrow situation, God must really hate Tweezers since that trail of brow weeds above her hate balls have only been plucked with hot fireplace tongs and weasel teeth. But I digress...
Anonymous sent WBC an open letter last night threatening that shit will get forever real if they don't extinguish the hate by shutting down their websites and promising to never protest a funeral again. The full letter is here, but I've copy and pasted a piece for your below:
Your demonstrations and your unrelenting cascade of disparaging slurs, unfounded judgments, and prejudicial innuendos, which apparently apply to every individual numbered amongst the race of Man - except for yourselves - has frequently crossed the line which separates Freedom of Speech from deliberately utilizing the same tactics and methods of intimidation and mental & emotional abuse that have been previously exploited and employed by tyrants and dictators, fascists and terrorist organizations throughout history.ANONYMOUS cannot abide this behavior any longer. The time for us to be idle spectators in your inhumane treatment of fellow Man has reached its apex, and we shall now be moved to action. Thus, we give you a warning: Cease & desist your protest campaign in the year 2011, return to your homes in Kansas, & close your public Web sites. Should you ignore this warning, you will meet with the vicious retaliatory arm of ANONYMOUS: We will target your public Websites, and the propaganda & detestable doctrine that you promote will be eradicated; the damage incurred will be irreversible, and neither your institution nor your congregation will ever be able to fully recover. It is in your best interest to comply now, while the option to do so is still being offered, because we will not relent until you cease the conduction & promotion of all your bigoted operations & doctrines. The warning has been given. What happens from here shall be determined by you.
WBC hates EVERYTHING but attention so obviously this is fueling their hate machine. WBC, who thinks they're Kiki Dunst in Bring It On, responded to Anonymous last night with this:
One of the only ways to successfully destroy the crazy mob of hatewhores at WBC is to buy up every piece of card stock so they won't be able to make signs anymore. Without a sign in their claws, the are nothing! It's like if I suddenly found out that I'm allergic to eating coconut frosting directly out of the tub. DESTROYED. The other way to destroy those slugs (no offense to slugs, they are wonderful garden creatures) at WBC is to sprinkle them with verb salt made of IGNORE.
And it's a good thing God does not hate popcorn, because we're going to eat a lot of it when we sit in Anonymous' side of the bleachers while watching this battle go down.
"Bitch, Your Pancakes Look Fine To Me!" Is The Line Of The Month
The fight started when the couple realized that they had no maple syrup for their pancakes. They asked the table over if they could have some of theirs because their pancakes wouldn't taste the same without the maple syrup and one of the two girls response was "bitch, your pancakes look fine to me!" And from there, all hell broke loose.
Ramada from Hot Shots and Sean Penn
Well, snatch away from chafing dish! It's Ramada from Hot Shots! leaving a restaurant in Rome with Sean Penn where they "canoodled" (I should have to canoodle with barbed wire every time I type that word) together during dinner. Valeria Golino dipped into the crazy by playing Tommy Girl's love interest in Rain Man and she swan dove into insanity by doing Hot Shots! with Charlie Sheen, so I'm pretty sure she's capable of handling Sean Penn. It takes a certain strong bitch to not get contact high from the hot toxic smoke clouds wafting off of the boiling coke boogers in Sean's nose.
I'm happier than John Travolta's freed scalp pores to be writing about Valeria Golino (And she was in Big Top Pee-wee AND Four Rooms) even if it's because of Sean Penn's insane ass.
The Sandalot Stars
The Sandalot's Yeah-Yeah and Ham reunite at an LA Fitness. One looks like he was chemically bred by VH1's scientists to star in their dating reality shows and the other one is a halo-away from looking like Rojo Caliente's double
Monday, February 21, 2011
they hate rock band
These two buddies were having a blast playing Rock Band, when surprise surprise, their girlfriends got upset because they weren’t getting enough attention. A quick punch to the sack and book to the side of the head quickly showed those boyfriends that you can’t have fun unless you include your needy GFs.
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